"Ah yes. I swore an oath, didn?t I? Very well, then. Be alive!" And without saying another word, he vanishes in a cloud of acrid smoke. ???? Now I am truly alone. Nothing changes in my position: I remain hanged just as before. My feet are still high above the ground and my neck still is constricted by the rope. There is only one difference: my neck is squeezed even more, because my Master?s brutal lovemaking made the knot so much tighter. ???? I despair, thinking that my Lord had broken his pledge. Anguished tears run down my eyes. Then a horrible realization hits me. He did not break his promise; he kept it to a letter. He swore to keep me alive and so he did. But he did not promise to rescue me. He left me to strangle in the noose ? to strangle forever and never die. ???? My suffering keeps getting worse and there is no relief. I flounder in the air, making an attempt after a useless attempt to escape my torment. Exhausted, I hang limp; and then I begin my struggles anew. All. When a kid hits about 15 I just download my memories into her head. That way she doesn't have to do the silly shit I did and I don't have to worry about the silly shit she's doing." But, hon, that's what different," Carrie said. "You don't have to worry about it. Kasey is going to come to you before she does any of that stuff. You probably won't be able to talk her out of any of it but she will at least let you know what's going on in her head. That was more than I offered my Dad." I do not want to know what is going on in her head," I said firmly. "You thought I was kidding when I told you that I believe there are certain things a father has no business knowing. You've pretty much hit the big ones. But there are more. I did not need to know when she got her first period and when her next one is coming. I do not need to know what size bra she wears and what style she prefers. I don't need to know that she wears thongs and owns a garter belt. I don't want to know which boys she finds.
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